Cinderella Stamps Forum Homepage
Forum Home Forum Home > Everything else other than stamps! > Anything goes
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - JOKE OF THE DAY
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login

JOKE OF THE DAY

 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <123
Author
Message
derek View Drop Down
Registered
Registered


Joined: 26 May 2016
Location: UK
Status: Offline
Points: 13
Post Options Post Options   Quote derek Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 April 2019 at 22:10
Three engineering students are arguing over who designed the human body. One student insists that the human body was designed by an electrical engineer because of the perfection of the nerves and synapses. The second disagrees and says it was a mechanical engineer who designed the human body as an ingenious system of levers and pulleys. The third student says, "You're both wrong, it was a civil engineer. Who else would have put a toxic waste pipe through a recreation area?".
I couldn't stay away - but I will be posting much less this time so as not to offend those with delicate sensibilities :-)
Back to Top
staples View Drop Down
Registered
Registered


Joined: 30 July 2012
Location: london
Status: Offline
Points: 30
Post Options Post Options   Quote staples Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 June 2019 at 23:37
What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree?

[A snooker table]

Sorry, couldn't stay away!  Thank you to everyone who has contributed  Thumbs Up
fair play
Back to Top
staples View Drop Down
Registered
Registered


Joined: 30 July 2012
Location: london
Status: Offline
Points: 30
Post Options Post Options   Quote staples Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 June 2019 at 22:00
Last one for a while as I have to go into hospital...

A magician works on a cruise ship.  The audience is different every week so he does the same tricks over and over again. However, the captain's parrot sees the same show every week and soon gets bored. It even starts heckling and giving away the magician's secrets. 'look, it's not the same hat! He's hiding the flowers under the table. Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?...'

The magician is furious but can't do anything about it and the situation continues until the ship hits a reef and sinks. He finds himself floating on a piece of wreckage with only the parrot for company.

They both stare at each other in mutual hatred but don't utter a word.  This goes on for a whole day, then another, and another, until on the fourth day the parrot can no longer contain itself. 'Okay,' it says, 'I give up. What did you do with the bloody ship?'


Wink
fair play
Back to Top
LOTSA View Drop Down
Registered
Registered
Avatar

Joined: 13 March 2015
Location: Calif usa
Status: Offline
Points: 21
Post Options Post Options   Quote LOTSA Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 June 2019 at 22:15
Best wishes for a short but successful hospital visit  Clown

Come back soon.
Back to Top
Bar Counsel View Drop Down
Registered
Registered


Joined: 08 May 2011
Location: Suffolk, Englan
Status: Offline
Points: 27
Post Options Post Options   Quote Bar Counsel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 July 2019 at 01:23
Hi Staples

I saw this and thought of you...



I heard a story about a shepherd who was herding a large flock in a remote pasture when a brand-new BMW drove up. The driver was a young man all dressed up in an expensive suit. He leaned out the window and said to the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"


The shepherd looked at the man, then looked at his large flock and calmly sure, "Sure, Why not?" The young man parked his car and whipped a small computer and connected it to his cell phone. He surfed the internet and called up a GPS satellite navigation system and got an exact fix on his location. Then the satellite scanned the area and produced an ultra-high-resolution photo which he fed to a processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he received an email and he turned to the shepherd and said, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep."


The shepherd said, "Wow, that's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." He watches as the young man selects one of his animals and stuffs it in the trunk of his car.


Then the shepherd said, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what you do for a living, will you give me back my sheep?" The young man thought about it for a second and said, "Okay, Why not?" And the shepherd says, "You're a consultant." And the young guy said, "Wow! That's correct, but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the shepherd, "You showed up even though nobody called you; you wanted to be paid for something I already knew and you don't know anything about my business.......now give me back my dog."




I hope everything has gone well and look forward to seeing you back here soon.


And reading your silly jokes...



And I'm certain Lotsa and I are not the only ones who appreciate a bit of humour alongside our stamp addiction  :-)

Back to Top
staples View Drop Down
Registered
Registered


Joined: 30 July 2012
Location: london
Status: Offline
Points: 30
Post Options Post Options   Quote staples Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 July 2019 at 01:39
Originally posted by Bar Counsel Bar Counsel wrote:


I hope everything has gone well and look forward to seeing you back here soon.


And reading your silly jokes...


And I'm certain Lotsa and I are not the only ones who appreciate a bit of humour alongside our stamp addiction  :-)


Hi to you too!

I am making a good recovery thank you, and also thank you for those stamps you sent me.  Some absolute gems in there, some I haven't ever seen before, and some great gap-fillers too.

And thank you to everyone who sent Get Well PM's, all much appreciated and I will reply to each of you as soon as I can sit up properly for any length of time.

Thumbs Up
fair play
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <123
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 10.17
Copyright ©2001-2013 Web Wiz Ltd.